Love in the time of Typhoid

As I sit in bed
Staring at the ceiling
My head splitting
My eyes heavy
Body shivering
And then profuse perspiring
A solitary tear rolls down my left cheek
The fear within threatens to consume me
I take a deep breath and
I wonder
GOD really tell me—what is there in this for me?
What lessons?
What advice?
What healing?
And why?
And I if I listen clearly enough
The answers begin to come
Slowly at first
And then with a blinding clarity


Life isn’t about planning and re-planning
It isn’t about everything going according to plan
Life is about the changes, the glitches, the getting ‘off track’
Worrying isn’t going to help anyone-least of all you.
Ten years down the line you will look back at this moment of fear and laugh—hell you’ll do that ten minutes down the line!
Fear is temporary and paralyzing BUT
It gives you a chance to take those deep breathes you rarely remember to take
It forces you to start meditating
It allows you to cry, take your troubles and toss them around that glass jar you rarely touch
And personally for me-the best part about fear is the calmness you feel when its all gone
The peace, the sense of unity
Oneness with the world and all its beings
A renewed sense of purpose
A deepened sense of hope



So when your body is battered with salmonella typhi
It might be better to just smile right through it
Enjoy the pain, the headaches, the body ache
Each experience as singularly unique
Thank your body for helping you fight the ‘bad guys’
Request the ‘bad guys’ to please leave
Imagine
Articulate
Believe
Command
Dream—of trade unions J, fighting, organizing, achieving
Encourage
Be kind
Be considerate
Be loving
After all your body will always act in your own interest



And the people serving you
Thank them and appreciate all that they do
Be it 4 am hot water bottles, 3 am foot massages, 1 pm hand fed lunches
Medicines in bed, water with a straw
Fruit juice
Smiles
A healing hand on a burning forehead
Just sitting next to you
Asking if you are okay
The concern
The love
The love
The love



And smile
And be grateful
For this life
For this moment
For everything around you
And within you
And when you are too tired to go on
Walk softly towards the bed laid out for you
By those very hands
That you call home